Nature Shows T-Shirts

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Prize vegetables.

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Painting clouds

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Vegetarian Birds

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

Comb Sweet Comb

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

Crocodile

Succession 2

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

"But what's my motivation?"

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

'Okay, you wanted to eat some pickled gherkins... and what happened then?!'

'Do you want to see a movie tonight?'

'Go and fish Darling, I'll be fine: I have some reading for the next few weeks...'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like the medulla oblongata!'

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

Franz Kafka does stand-up...

Ernie has been studying the musical tastes and talents of birds. Hummingbirds have a musical term right in their name. Parrots are great mimics so they excel at karaoke. Of course, the eagles like 70's folk-rock music. And the birds Ernie identifies with the most are woodpeckers. They both love headbanging music!

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."