Nature Paradox Enthusiast Gifts

Area Of Outstandingly Radioactive Waste

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

The Meaning of Life

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

New Capitalism

"Okay, it's agreed, - if Trump gets elected we won't be heading south for the winter."

Give Chlorophyll.

'It is important to do our part to help the environment son...'

"I move for less transparency."

'To be honest, I'm having trouble keeping up with all this new technology.'

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

Fake ecologist

"We managed to make ends meet."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

Zeno Gives Directions

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

"It's only a matter of time before we realize that time doesn't exist."

'I though you were on the pill!'

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

'Geeez! One day, we'll all get killed by that unhealthy stuff!'

'I know one never knows, but I don't know how one knows that.'

"She sleeps outdoors a lot for someone who refuses to go camping."

Crackpot watches while women catfight.

Psychic - No future.

'Strangler fig, eh. I'm sending you to a botanist, who will recommend a tree surgeon.'

"I want you to enhance long term growth while maximising short term profit. Oh, and while you're at it, turn this chunk of lead into gold."

Interpreting butterflies.

"No, yours is more useful, believe me."