Nature Manipulators Gifts

Genetic Meddling - sparrow sharks

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

Musical Web

Birds sitting on satellite dish.

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

Knight walking his pet armadillo.

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

"You're on kid. Break a string!"

A small fish's unnatural protection against predatory birds.

'I guess we both enjoy long slow walks together.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

Keeper in the bat house asleep upside down.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

Some buildings are just not meant to have roof gardens.

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

"What did it say on the seed packet?"

'Have you found any golf balls in there.'

"You're right—this is so much easier!"

Woman tries to pray for the rain to end.

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

Golfers! Do not walk on this fairway! Crawl on your belly like a lizard.

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

I Wish For More Nights Like This...

'You know there were 7,184 waves yesterday. That's just slightly more than usual. I think that's one of my favorite things about island life, there's always a surprise round the corner. What's your favorite thing, Ed?'

Miracle gro bird seed.

'We're showing a profit when we make up the numbers.'

We've done it. Our fake video of you being nice to Rudy has ruined your reputation. You're a weirdo. Your ratings are booming. Listeners can't get enough. They wonder if you're a fraud, think you're more human, imagine they might be superior to you. Time for Part 2. I don't want to know. You fake your redemption and we start selling t-shirts. I want 25% and I won't give or receive any hugs.