Nature Joke Fan Gifts

'Sorry I'm late - I found a fermented honey tree.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

Possums that ski.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Split the last one?

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"I'm in no great hurry to evolve."

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

C'mon! Let's go! Hey, you knew I was a nightcrawler when you married me.

"Come on, let's get a selfie and post it online before we fight to the death..."

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

The natural selection process in golf.

"It's teeth whitening."

"Yes, I'll marry you, but you understand you'll have to clean up your den right?"

Even with record Antarctic sea ice, nature finds ways to survive....

"HOWL!"

'He's not here.He's out on a sting operation.'

Give Chlorophyll.

Cover my mouth when I cough? with what?

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

"Hold on. I'll buzz you in."