Natural History Buffs Gifts

'There you are -- I've been looking all OVER for you!'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

The First Fire Stick

"It's the dawn of a new era"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Sundial Time

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Bees SOS

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

'Are we there yet?'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'