Natural Healing Pillows

"Penicillin? I'm sorry – I don't practice alternative medicine."

"She attended the Tia Carmen medical school."

Self help acupuncture

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

New Age Store.

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Broken Heart

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Alternative Medicine.

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Traumatology.

'I'm taking you off the herbal tea.'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

Thank you Doctor

'Got anything for a headache?'

A woman repairs a broken heart.

Ariel prepares for her big date.