Natural Healer Pillows

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

Herbal/Verbal Remedies: "Snap out of it."

"The worst part about having a cold is everyone's helpful suggestions."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Vermont Home Remedies: 'Bottled aspirin? I'm afraid you'll have to go to Boston for that item.'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

Alternative Medicine.

"She attended the Tia Carmen medical school."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

New Age Store.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

The New Age Dentist.

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'I'm taking you off the herbal tea.'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

Natural Medicines

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

"My Harvard Medical Guide says if a wisdom tooth is infected, you may need antibiotics and possibly have the tooth pulled by an oral surgeon."

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

"I'm hoping for herb immunity."

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'