Natural Birther Gifts

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Stories about crumbs

baby birds in a nest reading Chick Lit

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

The World's best Camouflage Store.

Leopards do change their spots

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

Bird at birdbath shaving.

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

"Dam kids..."

Drone Aerodrome

'He heard a voice saying, 'if you build it, they will come.''

'She never learned how to dance.'

"A bowl of your finest seed. And another table."

When I'm dead, I want to be composted!

'Wait...that's not a gray chested black wing hawk, that's a drone.'

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

James gets caught recording nature sounds without permission.