Nativity Nostalgist Pillows

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

"...and I'm saying we would've been here a lot quicker if we had used the SatNav rather than follow that stupid star."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Oh, Christ.'

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

Three Parent Baby

"Two for Bethlehem, I assume you want a Virgin flight."

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born

'We must be close! It's the little clown of Bethlehem.'

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"It's just not the same."

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

Three Wise Men on one camel. One says: 'We've decided to set an example by camel sharing.'

Shepherd points out the north star to 3 wisemen holding maps.

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

'I was a stowaway on his cargo ship, and the rest is history.'

The Three Wise Women

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

'Big Issue!'

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

Let's stick to 'No room at the inn' and leave out 'Have you tried the internet?'

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

Doctor telling pirate he has termites in his wooden leg.

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

Wise Men.

"He's coming out halo first!"

It's a girl!