National Symbol Skeptic Gifts

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Beware of Don"

The Mainstream

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

A man without a chicken on his head!

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

The Statue of Liberty stands up all day long and rests by night.

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

Cats are not as intelligent as you think.

'Really! - you have an aim in life - how quaint!'

"Sign here to indicate you have no idea what you've signed."

Conformity

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"'Love makes a Subaru a Subaru' my eye!"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Oh look, dear. when you press 'alt-right' it types a little swastika!"

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."