National Metaphor Day Gifts

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"Nation-building never works."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I didn't know which one to cross."

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Life Remaining Progress Bar

'So push has come to shove...'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"It's National Poetry Month, Marion, and by God we're gonna read some poetry."

The Nature Writer Writer.

#NationalPoetryDay

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

Life can be beautiful, Al. But for you, the fly in the ointment is your self-loathing. So, my question to you is, what's the fly doing in the ointment? The backstroke!

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."

'True, I win, right.'

'I'm just not keen.'

A bird's song is trapped in a musical stave.

Metaphors.

"Well, it looks like the shit finally hit the fan. So, who wants to lick the blades?"

"There you are!"

Two plugged in lovers try to reach each other, and in doing so, become unplugged.

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."