National Celebrations Pillows

Go Britain!

Royal Wedding on TV: 'His bottom drawer.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Bacchus.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Bubbly

Cardiac Recovery.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Elfie Stick

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Dancing Doctor

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Dancing in pyjamas

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'