National Celebration Gifts

Cuba united against blocking off the country

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Bubbly

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Cardiac Recovery.

Dancing Doctor

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"We won!"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

If you're happy and you know it...