Nascar Aficionado Gifts

Dave's diaper-changing incentive chart.

"I need to tinkle."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Inflating Boobs.

Mohammad's motors

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Turmoil change.

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

Cheesie Rider