Nascar Fan Gifts

Recently Retired NASCAR Driver.

It's too bad Michael and I aren't cars. Then maybe you'd pay as much attention to us as NASCAR!

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"I need to tinkle."

Bob's Driving School.

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'God's speed.'

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

Smile

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

Formula One car origami

Horse racing puns

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Dave's diaper-changing incentive chart.

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"On your mark! Get set!"

Grim reaper ambulance

Pig Trotter

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'So, the egg WAS first.'

Cars at the drive in.

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

'Think Basics.'

The horses are off and "Movie Star" take the lead. Here comes "Freight Train" on the rail. Around the bend and down the stretch "Yoge Pose" takes the lead. It might be "Short Circuit" at the wire. No! The winner is "Selfie" in a photo finish!

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

'What, no onion rings?'

'Speed bump ... no sound barrier.'