Nascar Aficionado T-Shirts

"I need to tinkle."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Inflating Boobs.

Mohammad's motors

Turmoil change.

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

Cheesie Rider

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'