Racing Aficionado Gifts

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'What, no onion rings?'

Doorway for Hats at Ascot

"He's gone on a lap of honour!"

'First past the post?'

Race Car GPS

'It's rumoured that he's becoming an alcoholic.'

Tour de France 2007 finishes.

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

The Horse Races

"I never had a moments doubt."

'God's speed.'

'How did it go at the track today, dear?'

'So, did you bet for or against yourself this time?'

'It doesn't make any difference! Tranquilizing all the other horses would be as illegal as doping up this one.'

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

Trucking Competition

'He's the type that gives racing a bad name.'

'Presenting the award for the most improved horse of the year....'

'He's not asleep. He's taking a sly look at the racing results.'

Formula One fan with a steering wheel.

'I know he owns the team but I still think it wont work out.'

'No, the sound isn't turned off, it's a Formula One race.'

'Oh, I'm very fast, but my dad's problem is that I'm not competitive at all...'

Formula One

"Now remember if anyone asks... You're the navigator."

Chicane

"Never mind showing him the fence, show him the winning post."

'What he needs to make him win, I can't give him....

"I have bad knees."

Horse Algorithm

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

And I now pronounce you Soccer Mom and NASCAR Dad.

Coster talking to friend about the races

'Bolted!'