Nasal Navigator Pillows

Allergy Clinic: Summertime and the Breathing is Wheezy.

Nose Spray.

The Life of Pi

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Pull and all nighter...

Things that go beep in the night.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Number Phobia.

Manopause: The time when a man has more hair growing out of his nose and ears than he does his head.

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

The wedding.

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

"Uh oh. It's the kids...and they're flying back!"

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

"You must cut down on your smoking."

"Jeff! Have you been sleepwalking again?!"

'Why can't I ever lead?'

'Insomniacs Anonymous. Next meeting 3am,Tues.'

Snooze Cruise

Napquest

'I never know which side to start on.'

Hospital bed shortages

'Honest! It was the only tree I could find!'

"Why does she wait until I'm sleeping to knock the pencil around the apartment?"

'And what can I do for you..?'

'Yes, please, go on and on about the interaction between the wine's bouquet and the various inner parts of your nose.'