Narrative Sports Pillows

'Reckless Rick has already lost three matches this year, but rumor has it that he's looking for a new writer...'

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'But now for the good news, Bob. The replay was shown repeatedly on Sports Center.'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

To be or not to be?

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

Marcus Rashford

Hi! You must be a basketball player,'cause Mom says she's on the rebound!

"I'd feel more comfortable if you'd use diplomacy."

Disagreeing with the ref's decision.

"Remeber this is supposed to be fake, so don't yell when he breaks your arm."

'If it makes you feel any better, when I was your age, bullies used to put a 'Kick Me' sign on my back, too.'

Football Drama Coach

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

Sneer-leading

Theatre football.

"Deep Right Field: a Memoir..."

"It's 'Knute the Terrible' now, Bob, but, after November, I hope it's congressman 'Knute the Terrible'."

'Remember 'be the ball'.' 'I am the ball. But apparently, I'm a devious, misguided, malevolent ball.'

Football Crazy strip two

"Walk it off, Butler!"

Thought Police: 'Are you having mucky thoughts?'

'Go, Meacham!'

"I'm sure everyone in the restaurant is in awe of your bowling trophy, but, next time, leave it at home!"