Narrative Nitpicker Pillows

"He died at the end. There. I've spoiled every story every written."

"Believe me, you're not the first guy who tried to impress a date by saying the book was better than the movie not knowing it was never a book."

Victor Hugo

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

"Name your sources."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"I'm after the history section."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

This new writer we've got is really working out, dear. I feel reinvigorated! Like someone's breathed new life into me! Why, I feel like anything can happen now! Like we can do things that are out of the ordinary! things we almost never do. I said Not tonight, dear.

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."