Narrative Appreciator T-Shirts

"My Dad has a way of making a long story even longer."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Theatre Crowd

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Final words on gravestones.

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

Nanki Poo

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

Ali Baba- Cover Design for Proposed Edition of The Forty Thieves

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

Toni Morrison

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"Well, geez, you don't need to bite my hea.."

Jack and the Beanie stock.

Doom & Gloom

Don Giovanni

Don Giovanni

Couple in Grey

Victorian Garden Romance

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

Great literary festival heckles.

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

'Can we postpone this? I'm out of lighter fluid.'

Three Little Pigs Cry Wolf.

"I just love your use of lying"

"Well, it's no wonder those Borgias and Medicis were always poisoning each other."