Nan Gifts

'Excellent! There's no mention of a ban on Grandparents smacking children..' (children fighting in background).

"Hey, I'll do the kvelling around here."

"No, actually gran...you've shrunk"

The Granny Knot.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Bitchbark Canoe

'I sent out for everything.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Young Frankenstein"

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

Occu-Pie Mars

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Tartine

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Robot Parts $5

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.