Name Joker Pillows

"I'm not looking for someone like her...just someone with the same name."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'How about a game of cards?'

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"A little under done?"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Photobooth Photobomb

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

Toilet humour

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

'Good book?'

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Skywriter's Block

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.