Biblical Joker Pillows

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"You think it's tough down there?"

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Good book?'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"He's always been an optimist."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Eucharist

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

Toilet humour

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

Skywriter's Block

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

A clown & his clone.

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."