Mythology Makeover Fan Gifts

'She ate the apple? That does it! -- the whole place is going condo!'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Swiss army knife

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"I know. But I think I can change him."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

“I know you’re really busy right now, but when you have a chance I’d love to pick your brain about how you got to where you are today.”

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

Going Down?

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Life and Death

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"