Mythical Real Estate Mogul T-Shirts

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"Sold his air rights."

"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'They're playing house.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"This area has a long and rich history. First, the Indians lived here, then it was a plantation with slaves, then poor people lived here, and now it's a magnificent condo complex."

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

House building chart (like steps).

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

"Try not to see them as a ridiculously expensive pile of bricks but rather as a value for money self build opportunity!"

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

'I'm a homing-pigeon you see, but since I've invested in the property market, I'm confused as to which home to return to...'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

Large Property Portfolio - Please Help.