Mythical Fan Club Gifts

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

Swiss army knife

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Hot Tub Frosty

"I know. But I think I can change him."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

Going Down?

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"He's So Your Type."

Sighting of the elusive Bigpaw

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

Viking River Raids

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely