Mythical Fan Club Gifts

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Swiss army knife

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Hot Tub Frosty

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"I know. But I think I can change him."

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

Going Down?

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Sighting of the elusive Bigpaw

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

"He's So Your Type."

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

Viking River Raids