Mythical Creatures Fan Gifts

"Be my valentine...Be my valentine...Be my valentine..."

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

"We never discuss religion."

Did you clean the loose snakes out of the shower drain? Medusa's husband.

"No, neither of us is real. You're just really stoned."

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'I hope you realise that they count as two wishes.'

'At least, you could have left a tip.'

The Onceupona Times classifieds,

Vampire Flap

'How long have you been having panic attacks?'

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

Vampire Bat

"I don't care who it is, Miss Hardman - tell him to make an appointment!"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

The Elliot Ness monster.

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

Warrior Woman

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Viking Loch Ness

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."