Mysticism Skeptic Pillows

'I see you're not taking responsibility for your life - relying on charlatans and soothsayers.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Czarcasm

Tiny Visions

The Witches Discover The Wok

Quantum Psychic

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'Your future looks charming.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Ill next Thursday

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"