Mysticism Skeptic Mugs

'I see you're not taking responsibility for your life - relying on charlatans and soothsayers.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

The Witches Discover The Wok

Czarcasm

Tiny Visions

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Quantum Psychic

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

'Your future looks charming.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'