Mysticism Appreciator T-Shirts

Old Goopta wants to be reincarnated as fog? Yes. He will be mist.

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Czarcasm

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Did you have a cat?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'Are we here-there-be yet?'

Nikolay Rerih

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

At the end of the rainbow

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

Mermaid reads sleeping tourists book.

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

Fortune Tellers Convention

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

Leo Tolstoy

"He's an asylum seeker."

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

When I said I wanted a second opinion on my prognosis, this isn't exactly what I meant.

"I'd like to see you cut back to eating only two, three ships a day."