Mystical Rituals Fan Gifts

"Can you cleanse the space of all the roach and mice spirits?"

"I'm having my entrails read."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

Wotan with eye patch

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

'I guess I don't need to tell you that you got the job.'

A couple lie in bed

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

'Let's set aside the role as the 'Bringer of Death' and explore your desire to dance,'

Your karma will catch up with you!

"This computer uses artificial intelligence to think like a human being...so it needs coffee in the morning to get it going!"

"You choose now to suddenly become romantic?"

Devil paints God.

"Dr. Rheinschreiber never does an appendectomy without music and dancing."

Bath Time

Your dinner is in the coven.

"I kind of miss that morning newspaper you used to hold in front of your face."

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

"Here you are darling...breakfast in bed"

"I swear, the solstice starts earlier every year."

"Madam Zelda passed to the other side last week. Would you want me to get a message to her?"

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

"You have a strong interest in sports."

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee every morning... but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

"Rock, paper or scissors?"

'Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on.'

'May I recommend the house blend?'

Wife firing toast at husband.

"Seriously? You want to challenge me now? Can't you at least wait until I've finished my morning coffee and today's newspaper?"