Mystical Mind Gifts

"Why the silence?"

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

Spiritualist. Out of business. I lost the ability to contact the departed. It's like clothes. Some people are a "medium" when young, but not when we get older.

'Wow! -- I didn't know the significance of the Universe would be THAT significan!'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Tiny Visions

The Witches Discover The Wok

Czarcasm

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Your future looks charming.'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...