Mystic Moo Gifts

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Motorherd

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"Did you have a cat?"

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Cat Seance

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Living with a cataholic.

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

"In case of emergency, break glass."

"Forget it - I've tried it before, and cats can't be enlightened."

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

MAH MOO MAH MAH MOO MOO MOO MOO MAH MOOMAH MOO MAH MAH MOOMAH MOO MOO!

"God, I hate cows."

'The crystal reveals you spend your money foolishly. That will be twenty-five dollars, please.

"I see a wild celebration...I see music, dancing, much food and revelry! . . . I see - oops!! Sorry....wrong party."

A fortune-teller working her new big plasma crystal ball.

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."

I see relations between Dylan and Daisy are at a all time low!

"Seducers, politicians and non-believers, it's all become so humdrum. I often wonder, where have all the sorcerers and fortune tellers gone?"

'Is it going to be good for you?'

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'