Mystic Market Aficionado Gifts

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Wall Street Couch

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Jumping Wall Street.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Did you have a cat?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Early attempts at standardising currency.

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Wall Street Investing.

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'