Mystical Market Believer Gifts

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

To Stock Exchange

The church of our lady of wall street.

The Bullish World

"All of the economic indicators I've seen are pointing up."

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'

Why stocks go up forever.

Your Palm

Learning from economics

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

Madame Zola - Bitcoin futures

"I once had a firm foothold in reality, but I found that it seriously undermined my ability to function as a financial market analyst."

'With my new screen-saver, I always feel bullish.'

"It's not a map of our new oil drilling sites--it's our stock price."

"Mr. Pringee wears it during bull markets."

"If you believe, clap your hands. Don't let our IPO die!"

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

Wizards Convention: Please Leave Hats Here.

'We're expecting stocks to rally but we don't know which ones and when.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

'Your shares are doing well... No wait, they're falling, no they're rising, no falling and rising...'

"Of course he looks peaceful - he's lived his entire life in a bull market."

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."