Mystic Market Aficionado T-Shirts

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Wall Street Couch

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Why markets crash.

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Did you have a cat?"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Early attempts at standardising currency.

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Wall Street Investing.

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'