Mystery-loving Golfer Gifts

Golf Crime Scene.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Putter'.

The Golfer Gardener

Too many beers at lunch?

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

Pest control.

"One More Swing."

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

"IV!"

Disturbed looking individual at Crazy Golf: 'One, please.'

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

'I knew it! Come back here!'

'Do you mind if I play through?'

Farmer Golf

Using Science In Fashion Design

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

The 19th hole

'Damn! I forgot I needed arms to pull the cord.'

Golfing Fakir.