Mystery-loving Golfer Gifts

Golf Crime Scene.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

God in the bunker.

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Putter'.

The Golfer Gardener

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

Pest control.

"One More Swing."

Too many beers at lunch?

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

'Do you mind if I play through?'

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

'I knew it! Come back here!'

"IV!"

Disturbed looking individual at Crazy Golf: 'One, please.'

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

Farmer Golf

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

Using Science In Fashion Design

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

By subjecting himself to increasingly higher jolts of electricity over many months, Tom hoped to become immune to lightning strikes while playing golf.

'Damn! I forgot I needed arms to pull the cord.'

The 19th hole

And he sliced and he cursed and his cheating was the worst. I'm not sure golf minstrels are such a good idea.