Mysophobia Enthusiast T-Shirts

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Venus

Vlad the Impala

Lady of the bath...

Here be dragons.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Warrior Woman

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Neptune

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

Wotan with eye patch

A surprise in heaven

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

Trojan Hurdler.

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"