Mysophobia Enthusiast Pillows

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Venus

Vlad the Impala

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Here be dragons.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Lady of the bath...

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

Wotan with eye patch

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Warrior Woman

"Bigfoot"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Neptune

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

A surprise in heaven

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

Trojan Hurdler.

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"