Quirky Phobia Appreciator T-Shirts

'I have a phobia of couches'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

God with Earth Controller

"Overkill, dude."

"I'm a monster."

"Your animal companionship is here!"

Cheesie Rider

"Oh, I don't do the test myself Sir: Doctor Vampire does it..."

Mummy Shrink.

"Pencil eraser."

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

Food chain.

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"Curiosity."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"We're making progress."

Pianist.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'I can't tag him, he keeps his watches there.'

"High Fashion"

A cat draws a picture of a sleeping man

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

If chickens had lips...'Thank God! I made it to the other side!'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

'I see ol' bug-eyes is back.'