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Clown Phobia

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Pencil eraser."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

Food chain.

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Freia and her golden apples

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

Attack of the zombie snowman.

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment

"No, I'm scarier."

Bashful Royal Guard

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

'Tell me again why we are afraid of chairs.'

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

"Our surveillance indicates that Earthlings have a fear of right-angled triangles."

'Do you still think my fear of Scottish clowns is irrational?'

"They've always scared the hell out of me."

A deceitful photographer shows his doctored photos to an editor trying to deceive him...

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'Museum of Hippy Culture' 'No smoking the Exhibits'

'Another nightmare, Billy? What genre - horror or thriller?'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

'He won't go back into his house until I check to make sure the spider is gone.'

'Boy I freak out when slimy things touch my feet...'

The Scream take its temperature

"Forget the slipper, find me the owner of this glass bra!"