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The Ribbon, Nemesis Of Crime....

Clown Phobia

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"What do you mean you can't stand to be touched?"

"Pencil eraser."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Food chain.

Freia and her golden apples

Bashful Royal Guard

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

Attack of the zombie snowman.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"No, I'm scarier."

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment

'Tell me again why we are afraid of chairs.'

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

"Our surveillance indicates that Earthlings have a fear of right-angled triangles."

'Do you still think my fear of Scottish clowns is irrational?'

A deceitful photographer shows his doctored photos to an editor trying to deceive him...

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"They've always scared the hell out of me."

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'Museum of Hippy Culture' 'No smoking the Exhibits'

The Scream take its temperature

'Boy I freak out when slimy things touch my feet...'

'He won't go back into his house until I check to make sure the spider is gone.'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!