Muzzle Collector Gifts

Silence of the Chickens...

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Dead Funny

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Ask me about my litter! !

Jazz is Invented

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Dog in casino.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Six jazz instruments.

' Get ready to make a wish.'

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

"The bones were bad enough, but this is just ridiculous."

"They were built during a pandemic."

Museum. Children love the Tyrannosaurus exhibit. Of course! T. Rex are for kids! (Published originally on Oct. 1, 2014.)

Tragedy, Comedy, 'Dramedy'

Bubble Gum Dispenser

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.