Mutant Enthusiast Gifts

"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."

2042

'I knew the day would come when we'd regret moving next door to a genetic research facility.'

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Paranormal A-Z...

"I thought you wanted me to change."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Mutation D614G

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

Madame Borigard: Reader of the Occult - Derivatives & Credit Default Swaps Explained

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Genetic Research and Engineering Department (sign has 6 fingers)

Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

"Stop trying to creep me out!"

"Your're mum's well wicked."

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

"It's cooties."

"Larry, stop signing your memos with your initials. No one takes them seriously."

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

"Mom!!"