Mutant Enthusiast Pillows

"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."

2042

'I knew the day would come when we'd regret moving next door to a genetic research facility.'

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Paranormal A-Z...

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"I thought you wanted me to change."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Mutation D614G

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Madame Borigard: Reader of the Occult - Derivatives & Credit Default Swaps Explained

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Genetic Research and Engineering Department (sign has 6 fingers)

Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.

"Stop trying to creep me out!"

"Your're mum's well wicked."

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

"It's cooties."

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"