Musing Maker Gifts

'If you were interested in what I think you'd read my blog!'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

Artists at an Exhibition

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"Me and my family are Equatorists. We worship an imaginary lion that runs around the earth forever."

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

Musicians.

'I think out quarterly report should call it a 'negative upward trend'.'

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

"Now you've done it!"

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

Questioning

Rodin's Nailbiter.

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

'Instead of being stranded on this island for the next 10 years, I used my pocket knife to build a boat out of palm trees. I told you my woodworking skills would pay off.'

'Your back is never going to get better until you stop playing the piano with a walking band.'

Well yes, I'm quite clever: I have over twenty patents to my name...