Musical Diva At Heart Gifts

Turandot

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Covid Music

The Hair Stylist of Seville

'Sheep striptease'.

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

The quarantine self cut.

"I love my luvvie."

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'

"We're getting somewhere now. This is the exact opposite of what I want."

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

DIY pedicure

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

Celine Dion

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

Magicians monkey.

Born to rock.

Accountant sings the blues

'Quick, pen and paper! The muzak has brought poetry bubbling to the surface!'

The Knitwit...

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

"Hello, San Antonio - are you ready to rock in a fiscally responsible way?"

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

That was finch on trills, sparrow on chirps, chickadee on cheeps, and I'm nuthatch on whistles - Good night, everyone, you've been great!