Performer At Heart Gifts

'All our nurses now have degrees...unfortunately nurse Pilbright's is in the expressive arts!'

'This is the Linedance class - the Riverdance is next door!'

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'

Wireless high-wire act.

'Hold' (an interpretative dance)

Madonna

Clown school

'Hurry it up, will you? We're on in five minutes!'

'Sheep striptease'.

Human Cannon Ball.

Running coast to coast for attention.

Magicians monkey.

Stiltwalker's shoes.

"And then when I got up on stage everyone clapped their hands."

A woman playing the trumpet and doing a high kick

"I'm sorry if I was a little disruptive in class. It's just so great having a live audience again!"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Extreme miming"

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

George Michael

Cow Show Tunes

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'