Performer At Heart Mugs

'All our nurses now have degrees...unfortunately nurse Pilbright's is in the expressive arts!'

'This is the Linedance class - the Riverdance is next door!'

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'

Wireless high-wire act.

'Hold' (an interpretative dance)

Clown school

'Hurry it up, will you? We're on in five minutes!'

'Sheep striptease'.

Human Cannon Ball.

Running coast to coast for attention.

Magicians monkey.

Stiltwalker's shoes.

"And then when I got up on stage everyone clapped their hands."

A woman playing the trumpet and doing a high kick

"I'm sorry if I was a little disruptive in class. It's just so great having a live audience again!"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Extreme miming"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Cow Show Tunes

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

'Play it again, Sam.'

"I can't believe he brought her."