Music Venue Regular Gifts

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

A Symphony of Penguins

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Anna Calvi

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Rump roast?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Freddie Mercury

I wish I'd had the review.

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

Prawn Cocktail Please

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."